Films can hold up a mirror to the ADHD experience, offering moments of recognition, release and repair. In this reflective piece, Attention Allies counsellor Caroline O’Brien explores how cinema becomes a bridge between emotion and understanding – revealing how stories on screen can help families to navigate the complexities, tensions and connections that come with living with ADHD.
(6 minute read)
I love films and going to the cinema. It’s my ultimate escape, a chance to lose myself in a story and distract myself from my world. It’s also an opportunity to connect with the full range of my emotions and to reflect. Films sometimes crop up in my counselling conversations too. Reconnecting with the imagery, characters or narrative of a film can be a powerful way for people to identify, explore and process their experiences without feeling overwhelmed.
It’s amazing how film can do this. I remember watching Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) and unexpectedly connecting with feelings of intense rage as Mildred Hayes, a bereaved mother played by Frances McDormand, railed against the church and local law enforcement. I didn’t even know I possessed this rage when the film began, but there it was on the screen and in me at the same time. I learnt a lot about myself through that movie, and it helped me reflect on some difficult aspects of my formative years.
A film I remember for very different reasons is Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022). Firstly, because its complex narrative nearly melted my head, and secondly, because of the insight it gave me into what it is like to be my adult ADHD son* and why so many things seemed so difficult for us both when he was growing up.
For readers unfamiliar with the film, it’s the story of Evelyn Wang (played by Michelle Yeoh), an immigrant laundry owner in San Fernando, California, who connects with parallel versions of herself and “verse jumps” between different realities, battling to close a hole in the multiverse while also trying to run a laundry, complete her tax return and manage her relationship with her husband and teenage daughter.
Everything, everywhere, ADHD
I wasn’t aware when I watched Everything Everywhere All at Once that it was written with an ADHD character in mind, or that the writer and director, Daniel Kwan, first recognised his own ADHD while researching for the story. With hindsight, it’s no surprise it would take the brilliance of an ADHD brain to create a work of such intensity and frenetic pace that it could make my head feel like it had just been through several rotations in one of Evelyn’s washing machines. My son, on the other hand, emerged deeply satisfied by a cinema experience so stimulating for him that it shut out all distractions and occupied all his brains at once. I say “all his brains” because that’s how it feels as his parent; it’s like he has several brains firing simultaneously, or perhaps one super-brain with substations that can multitask, drop balls, pick them up (hopefully), add a few more in and achieve all kinds of wonders that I can’t. Often his brain works faster and on more impulses and parallel tasks than one man can realistically manage – meaning balls get dropped, people get frustrated and trials sometimes follow in the wake of his successes. Like us all, he’s learning – and I am learning to understand and support him, sometimes better than I could when he was a child.
So many things about our relationship make sense now – for example, why we could never agree on a film to watch (turns out he wasn’t just being difficult); why he would repeatedly ask me for a lift at the last minute (time optimism and the need for urgency before action were a repeated source of friction); and why we would get locked in disagreements (his hyperfocus and our mutual sensitivity to criticism ensured we each felt unfairly attacked by the other, every time). Aside from ADHD, we are both highly sensitive people (HSPs) and, as with Everything Everywhere All at Once, there were multiple themes – including family loss and generational trauma – interwoven in our narrative. It was tough!
Talking to family about ADHD
Perhaps unsurprisingly, family relationships feature a lot in my work with ADHD young people and adults, many of whom have only recently received a diagnosis. As was the case in our family, learning that you have ADHD can make sense of a lot of early experiences and this can feel both freeing and fraught at the same time. Navigating this with a counsellor or coach can help, particularly if they are neurodivergent themselves or have training and experience in supporting others who are. There can be a lot to process and, like the film’s protagonist, the people I meet are often trying to do this alongside managing a career or business, raising a family and generally fending off the force of an increasingly challenging world.
For some, talking things through with a counsellor can make sufficient sense of the past. Experiences can be explored and integrated, and people can start to feel more at ease with themselves and in their relationships. For others, conversations with family members feels important. Finding a way to approach and manage these conversations can seem daunting and knowing a counsellor is alongside you as you do so can be hugely supportive.
Sometimes people conclude that talking with family is too difficult, especially where parents are still holding their own unprocessed trauma or emotional difficulties and perceive conversations about family life and parenting as criticism. Others have parents who refuse to accept ADHD as a legitimate diagnosis or explanation for past or present events, leaving people wrestling with feelings of abandonment and isolation. Sharing this in a counselling environment is not necessarily easy but it can make the difference between coping and not coping, and open doorways to self-acceptance and inner growth.
Finding support
If this resonates, reading some of the other blogs on this website or exploring the options for in-person support could be a helpful next step. There are therapists here who will recognise your story and are able to listen, understand and support you. Referencing films is not a requirement, but if it helps, give it a go. If talking about movies helps you dialogue and get to the essence of what you’re thinking and feeling, that has to be good.
*I have created this article with the kind permission of my son.
Click the links if you'd like to visit Caroline’s therapy website or her directory entry on Attention Allies.
Published 3 November 2025
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