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ADHD therapy: Systems, structure and creativity 

Get ready to find some direction. Counsellor and creative therapist Rich Hayden suggests that ADHDers can be naturally drawn to work more comfortably in therapy with some flexible systems, structure and the use of all forms of creativity. Engaging our “right brain” in this way might eventually help us to find peace and harmony in the way we operate.

(5 minute read)

If you have ADHD, one of the things you’ve probably struggled with the most is being different. It’s fairly obvious that you think/feel/act differently from most other people around you.

Let’s just get the self-disclosure part out of the way: I’m a therapist and I have ADHD – something I didn’t figure out until later in my life.

Being different really is a double-edged sword; in part you have some pretty sharp abilities that neurotypicals don’t have, but it can also leave you feeling lonely, isolated and complicate your understanding of who you are.

“I’d like to be able understand myself better” is a common phrase I hear from almost every ADHD client during our first session when I ask what they would ideally like to get out of the therapy process.

I recognise how important it is for ADHDers to have a sense of direction in therapy. Otherwise the opportunity to wander off at a tangent, or get lost completely presents itself all too often! A sense of direction also helps clients to trust the process and feel they have ownership of their journey.

Over the years, I’ve become aware that people with ADHD seem to respond more positively to therapy that has a defined framework, system or pathway that can be used to “map out” or inform their direction. I’m thinking particularly of those I’ve worked with using the basis of the IFS (Internal Family Systems) framework.

The simple principals of IFS are that we each have a true self (spirit, soul, core) and a collection of other parts, which together make up our whole self. Our parts express themselves through our thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

I’ve been pondering why it is that people I’ve worked with who have ADHD seem so drawn to enjoying a system or a framework so much. Well, the obvious answer is structure! But a basic structure – one with not so much defining detail it becomes completely rigid; this would simply not be appealing to the ADHD mind!

I also think us ADHD-ers are drawn towards systems thinking because our brains just love the opportunity to spread out into mind map-type scenarios, with defined networks and plenty of potential for malleability and added detail. There’s the obvious attraction to a system from some common ADHD traits too: obsessive thinking, hyper-focus and what I call “need to know” curiosity.

When you’re the kind of person who simply needs to know either the correct answer, truth or end result of something and you’re given a system to work with (better still a system like IFS that explains thoughts, feelings and behaviours) your brain laps up the opportunity to spread out, be insanely curious and obsess over the something in question until the answer is found. Add in hyper-focus to find new pathways, networks and, of course, add details and… Houston we have lift-off!

From working with ADHD clients, I’ve seen how creative work forms an essential part of the process alongside IFS. The invitation to the client is to explore each of their parts through some form of creative medium (pens, paint, moulding clay, music, words, movement, sand tray, visualisation, literally anything creative!).

By using whatever creative medium the client feels drawn to, we allow their creative process to activate. In creative “mode”, we are accessing right brain (unconscious memory) and bringing it into conscious awareness. In essence we’re making ourselves aware of what we already knew, but weren’t previously aware of.

Through getting to know our individual parts and developing a relationship with them, we are able to practise unblending from them to a place of true self awareness. This creates distance between parts and our true self, so that we are far less affected by their actions and therefore able to work with them.

As clients get into the therapy structure and begin to work creatively with the different parts of their ADHD selves, the parts begin to develop their own individual characters. As awareness grows, each part’s traits and voices become more distinct and clients are able to have direct dialogue with them.

Over time, and with work, we can gain the trust of our parts and relieve them of their less helpful duties. All of this results in the self having more awareness of, and control over, the internal human operating system. Or, to put it another way, a better understanding of who you are, bingo!

Like I remind so many of my clients, how you are isn’t wrong just because it’s different! By accepting, understanding, working with and managing the ADHD parts of you in ways that make sense to you, it is possible to have a better relationship with yourself and find peace and harmony in the way you operate.

 

Click the links if you’d like to visit Rich’s therapy website or hir directory entry on Attention Allies.

 

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Published 1 September 2024

 

All rights reserved © Copyright Rich Hayden 2024. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from the author of this post is strictly prohibited. Author contact via website Contact page.

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“Am I normal?”

Psychotherapist, counsellor and ADHD coach Duncan E. Stafford hopes you “don’t feel normal”. Why is this and how can it help ADHDers to create useful tools for self-development?

(5 minute read)

The subject of “normal” in connection with adult ADHD is one that comes up regularly in my consulting room. Any quick search online for information about adult ADHD will support the persistent nature of questions like this, returning results such as:

  • “Can someone with ADHD have a normal life?”
  • “Is ADHD considered normal?”, and
  • “Can you be normal and have ADHD?”*

This fascinates me because the concept of the “normal” human being is both subjective and perhaps, surprisingly, a relatively new concept.

The word “normal” – from the Latin root normalis, meaning something made according to a carpenter’s square – hadn’t been applied to human beings before the nineteenth century, when Adolphe Quetelet published “On Man and the Development of His Faculties, or Essay on Social Physics”.

In the years before 1835, “normal” was a term used only in mathematics and related disciplines, including astronomy. Quetelet took the astronomer’s error curve or, as it became known, the “normal distribution curve” and applied it to measuring humans. And the rest, as they say, is history.

A subjective term

“Normal” in relation to people is a subjective term. When used as a description, it implies a thing that should be aimed for or agreed upon. Being “normal” in human terms suggests the acceptable boundaries of what a person is or should aim to be. “Normal” is applied to the body through size, weight, shape, strength and so on; it’s applied to the mind in terms of aspects such as cognitive ability, sanity, reasoning and perceptual speed, among other measures. If we look at the term historically, it has often been used to reinforce white, Western and middle-class people’s definitions and standards of humanity. And so, you might see why I have a problem with ADHDers asking if they are “normal”. I might even suggest: “Who wants to be ‘normal’?”

Our development since childhood has been measured against created “normal goals”. In school, our abilities are tested to see if we reach at least the minimum, “normal” or “average” of others in a range of things thought to be the most useful.

Hyperkinetic to ADHD

When I was at the end of my school education, the term ADD (1980)** had hardly begun to be used, and ADHD (1987)*** hadn’t yet been created. In my own school era (and perhaps even today), students with ADHD were likely to be castigated for their internal motor-driven impulses and told to sit down, behave, stop being careless, stop making silly mistakes and stop being naughty, disruptive or “stupid” rather than receiving positive comments about themselves. Nothing on the preceding list was valued as good “normal” behaviours in classrooms. But the balancing behaviours often seen in the hyperkinetic child – as pre-1980s psychiatry, developmental psychology and education then termed ADHDers – weren’t valued in such children. It was, and perhaps still is, almost invisible to many the ultra-inquisitiveness, robust enthusiasm, unusual or eccentric creativity, sweeping spontaneity, fantastical imagination, and lively conversational skills and personality that the ADHDer brings.

When an ADHDer asks me “Am I/Is it normal?”, I tend to answer “I hope not!”. I suggest that we replace “normal” with “typical” in terms of feelings and behaviour. From there we can often see what someone’s real question and/or concern about themself is: “Are there other people like me?” If that inquisitiveness (typical of many ADHDers) can be engaged with, it may allow the inquisitor to feel calmer, less alone and, importantly, able to ask more questions of themself and what I call “the soup” we were brought up in and live in. In creating an interest not in normality, but in similarity, we potentially lead to the prerequisite for the creation of vital personal tools for self-development. As a therapist, I can help ADHDers engage and support self-actualisation and self-determination.

Back to the curve?

So, are you tempted to plot all of this on a standard deviation curve? I’m not. To do so is to limit our creative engagement with understanding ourselves in an attempt to reach mythical, societally created norms.

I like to know what others do and why they think they do things, but I like to help ADHD people understand that living your life by comparison to created norms tends, on the whole, to make an ADHDer feel claustrophobic, tense and constricted at minimum. ADHDers don’t need more restriction or created failures; they need freedom to be, and for that they need flexibility.

 

Footnotes

* Retrieved from Google search 10 August 2024.

** The American Psychiatric Association released a third edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-III) in 1980 in which it renamed Hyperkinetic Reaction of Childhood to Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Two categories were outlined: with – and without – hyperactivity.

*** The American Psychiatric Association released a revised third edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-III-R) in 1987, in which it renamed ADD as Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

 

Click the links if you’d like to visit Duncan’s therapy website or her directory entry on Attention Allies.

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Published 17 August 2024

 

All rights reserved © Copyright Duncan E. Stafford 2024. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from the author of this post is strictly prohibited. Author contact via website Contact page.

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ADHD? ME?

A poem about the moment, in adult life, when someone discovers they have ADHD. Witty and powerful, poet Jackie Fernandez captures in a little over 200 words the shock and discombobulation she experienced when she discovered she was no longer neurotypical.

(Please be aware, this poem contains expletives.)

 

I was at my therapy session.

Thinking I was going to talk about the self-sabotage

Of my marriage

That had become a complete train wreck.

26 years hitting the deck

With me asking for the cheque.

 

My therapist hijacked it

By asking me a load of questions …

 

Do you remember all the things you have agreed to?

With friends

Colleagues

Family

Double booking yourself

Getting in a tangle.

 

When you can honestly not remember

Conversations

Discussions

Decisions

Watching the slow-motion collisions.

 

Can you remember agreements made at work?

Responsibilities that you cannot shirk

Forget to write down and diarise

Hitting you on the deadline like a surprise.”

 

I answer all the 18 questions

Cheerily

Honestly

With no hesitation

Not a clue

To what this is all leading to.

 

Are you aware of the questions I have asked you?

No idea.

My partner whispering

I know what this is about.”

Tell me now

I shout!

 

You have scored highly and could have ADHD.”

Huh? …

What did you say?

Me?

No fucking way!

 

I’m neurotypical surely?

Silence from all sides

I am blindsided …

Never saw this coming …

I am not delighted …

 

You should get assessed

The therapist suggests.

 

I nod with big eyes

I will

Trying to sit still.

 

I’m dumbstruck

Like I have been hit by a truck

Just my fucking luck.

 

Jackie Fernandez

May 2024

56.5 years old

Visit Jackie’s poetry website

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Published 2 August 2024

All rights reserved © Copyright Jackie Fernandez 2024. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from the author of this post is strictly prohibited. Author contact via website Contact page.

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